


One Last Kiss as the Sun Rises

by angelsfalling16



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Book: Carry On, Post-Canon, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 10:11:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16830559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: Baz is leaving on a trip, and Simon and Baz kiss goodbye, neither of them wanting him to go.





	One Last Kiss as the Sun Rises

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t look at me. I have no idea what this is. I woke up with the urge to write this, and it somehow just barely managed to fit today’s Carry On Countdown theme. It also wasn’t supposed to be Christmas-related at all, but it ended up turning that way. Anyway, here it is. Enjoy!

**Baz**

I peek into our daughter’s room as I walk by it. She is sleeping peacefully in her bed, facing the fairy nightlight that creates a soft pink glow. She smiles in her sleep, and she looks so happy like that. I wish that I didn’t have to go. I wish that I could stay and sit with her.

I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder and continue to creep quietly down the hall towards the front door. The house is quiet with the two people I love most in this world asleep in their beds. I want to stay. I want to turn around and crawl back into bed and fall asleep in the arms of my husband. But I can’t. I have to do this. I have to leave.

I finally reach the front door, just barely remembering to step around the squeaky floorboard. I take a deep breath as I unlock the deadbolt and reach for the doorknob.

“Where are you going?” A sleepy voice behind me asks.

I turn and see Simon rubbing his eyes. I still haven’t grown accustomed to his ability to sneak up on me. I used to be able to feel his magic before he even entered the same room that I was in. Now, I don’t even hear his quiet footsteps, and it still surprises me sometimes that he can creep up behind me even though it has been years.

He looks up at me with wide, innocent eyes, and my heart hurts. I wish again that I didn’t have to go.

“Where are you going?” He asks again.

“We talked about this,” I say quietly. “I have to go.”

“I still don’t understand why I can’t go with you. Or why you have to sneak out like this in the middle of the night,” he says gesturing at the overnight bag at my side. “Can’t you wait until morning?” He pleads.

This isn’t the first, or even second, time that we have had this conversation. That doesn’t make it any easier. I press my lips tightly together as he looks at me with those blue eyes that pull me in and make we want to stay. I shake my head to clear it.

“Simon,” I say softly.

He reaches out his hand, and I take it. He tries to move closer, but I stop him with a quick shake of my head. If he came any closer, I don’t think that I would be able to leave. That’s why I wanted to leave while he was asleep.

“I have to help Fiona, and I need you and our daughter to stay here where it is safe.”

His eyes search my face, and he doesn’t have to say anything because I know what he is thinking. He doesn’t want me to go, but he knows that this is important to me. He is afraid that I won’t return, though, that I’ll get myself into trouble and will get hurt. I would be offended by his lack of faith in me if I wasn’t so awestruck by how much he cares. I still can’t believe it sometimes even though I know that he loves me. After so many years of thinking that it would be impossible for him to feel the same about me, it still comes as a surprise to me some mornings when I wake up with him in bed beside me. I don’t know how I got to be this lucky.

“You’ll return to me in one piece, right?” Simon asks.

I squeeze his hand. “Of course. I could never leave you.”

I know that it is a mistake, but I close the distance between us and kiss him. It’s a messy kiss as I push my lips hard into his in a desperate goodbye. He tangles his hand into my hair, keeping me there. It’s going to be more difficult to leave than I originally thought.

I let my bag slide off of my shoulder and drop to the floor. Then, I wrap my arms around him and pull him even closer to me as I deepen the kiss. I never want to let him go. I want to stay with him like this for hours. I finally somehow manage to pull away.

He frowns at me, and it tugs at my heart, making me want to call up my aunt and tell her that I can’t help her. I only consider it for a moment because I have to help her. I want to. And I will be back soon, but I have to leave first.

“I’ll be home for Christmas,” I promise him with one last kiss.

I pick my bag up from the floor and turn away from him even though it pains me to do so. I open the door and step outside into the cold winter morning as the sun begins to rise, knowing that when the sun sets again tonight, I will be far away from here.


End file.
